This is one of those newsletter issues where I struggled to come up with a good opening sentence. I sat and stared at my screen for such a long time, yet nothing. I know what I wanted to write about but didn’t know how to introduce it. So, forgive me, I’m just going to delve right into it.
If you can recall, in one of my previous issues, I mentioned how I used to be a scaredy-cat as a child. Of course, I overcame the fears I had back then, but lately, I’ve noticed that I’ve been nursing some new ones. The sad thing is that I have little to no control over the things that trigger this fear.
I’ve noticed that anytime I see an armed policeman, my brain goes through a number of what-ifs. I feel so unsafe, even with the awareness that their job is to keep us safe from the bad guys. I imagine a million things that could go wrong with the gun in their hands and wonder: what if they are not mentally stable enough to handle a loaded gun? Were they even physically and mentally trained and certified to be fit to handle the gun? Knowing the country I live in, and how nonchalant it is with system, structure, quality, and order, my fear grows even more.
I feel this same way anytime the vehicle I’m in tries to overtake long trucks. In my mind, I say a bunch of prayers, hoping that the driver will have some patience and give the truck breathing space, but more often than not, these drivers are never patient. Instead, they prefer to follow the truck bumper to bumper and overtake in a “very narrow escape” manner, having everyone’s lives flash before their eyes. I think these drivers do not value their own lives, let alone those of their passengers.
Lastly, I fear lending my pen to people. I fear my pen being chewed or licked. I’ve had several occasions where I gave my pen to people (adults, not children) and had it returned chewed or licked. So anytime someone asks me for a pen, I wonder if they are a pen eater, and if I eventually give it to them, I watch them closely to make sure my pen doesn’t find its way close to their mouth. Very tiring😫.
So, I’m wondering, are these fears valid, or am I just overthinking again? Let me know if you can relate, and if you don’t mind, share some of your own fears in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!
Till next time, stay safe and curious
Amara🤗
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Ozioma forced me to be here.
Great read, nice 👍