Love in Tokyo

I hope it's different than it is over here😏

I’ve always wondered what love feels like in other countries. What is the dating scene like? What kinds of questions come up during the talking stage and do they differ from the norm in the Nigerian dating scene?

My fascination with love across borders was born out of exhaustion. I’m tired of how generic and predictable the dating scene in Nigeria can be. Sometimes I wonder how we went from “Can I walk you home?” to “What’s your body count?” And I honestly suspect someone was paid to craft and circulate those “get to know you” questions.

Why is everyone asking the same things? Have you eaten? Do you live alone? Do you wear waist beads? Really, how does that even matter?

I can’t explain how much the question “Have you eaten?” gets on my nerves. Well, I blame the economy for that. If things were better, asking if someone has eaten wouldn’t be a grand gesture of care and concern because food would be readily accessible.

To think that I haven’t even found love yet and might have to endure these questions a few more times before I do makes me dread the Nigerian dating scene even more. But oh well 😫, it is what it is.

I feel like these questions are too loose and reveal a lack of emotional intelligence, creativity, or even practicality. Getting to know someone should flow naturally, not feel like a job interview. A lot about a person’s personality can be uncovered through random, genuine conversations, rather than through a checklist of loose questions.

I strongly believe that genuine connection is formed through meaningful conversations with a sprinkle of thoughtful, relevant questions. Questions like: What makes you come alive? What makes you feel seen, heard, or understood when you feel out of place? Conversations like these tend to reveal those who truly care, because they pay attention to detail.

So now, I’m intrigued. In Japan’s thriving economy, what question is asked to show care and concern instead of “Have you eaten?” And does it even matter there whether I live alone or with family🤔 ? While I’m aware that every country and culture has its own dating flaws, I just hope it’s not worse than it is over here.

I’m curious, what’s the most random or annoying thing someone has asked you during the talking stage?

Till next time, stay curious
Amara🤗

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